When I went home for T-giving last week, naturally my mother freaked out that we didn't have enough dessert to bring to Auntie Ellen's annual gathering.
So for some reason, my sister started blasting Alicia Keys (as I found out later) at 8 a.m. and I had nothing better to do than get up and bake up a storm! What did I choose?
PIE.
I don't particularly believe that "baking is an exact science" (sorry Alton), so I poked around online to find general proportions for things and went to town. My first pie adventure: Pumpkin Pie.
First, I set about making crust. I "cut" a stick of (cold) butter into some flour and baking powder (I tossed in some salt because I thought it needed it) with my fingertips, until I got that "coarse cornmeal" that everyone talks about. Moistened it up with one egg, and froze my dough ball for about 1/2 hr.
I carefully sprinkled my work surface (which happens to be my parents' large glass cutting board) with flour, and plopped my dough ball in the center. I carefully floured my rolling pin, and rolled out from the center, going around in a circle until I had a somewhat pie-shaped, 1/4 inch thick round of pie crust dough. Excited about my accomplishment, I lifted up one edge of the pie crust to fold it over for easy transfer to my glass pie dish. Crumble. I bristled at my crust. No matter. I pushed the rips back together, retrieved a large plastic pancake spatula and attempted to lift up the edge again. Crumble crumble. Undeterred, I worked my spatula around the entire 360º outer edge of my crust. EVENT OF MASSIVE CRUMBLE. Little bits of pie dough were molded to the board, and my crust was in a shambles.
Result: FAIL
Lesson: Freeze dough ball longer.
While my hastily re-formed dough ball was re-freezing, I set about making my pie filling. One can of pumpkin puree, check. (Thank you, Barefoot Contessa, for erasing my shame.) One egg, check. Brown sugar, check. Nutmeg, allspice, cinnamon, check. Condensed milk...condensed milk...uh oh.
Result: SUBSTITUTE COCONUT MILK.
Lesson: Coconut Pumpkin Pie?
I whisked everything together until I got the consistency of a melted milkshake. Then I covered with saran wrap and returned the whole thing to the fridge so as to allow my dough to finish freezing.
In the meantime, my father had decided that we needed to bake an apple pie "because that's what The People want." If by "The People" he means some kind of Wong Proletariat...no matter. Anyway, during the pumpkin madness I had sent him to the store for reinforcements so by the time I'd whisked my pumpkin to soupy happiness, we were off and running on the apples.
Peeling done with a vegetable peeler, coring done with one of those semi-useless "apple cutters" that look like sinister covered-wagon spokes, last minute corrections to remove seeds and cores done with a paring knife. (Thanks Dad.) I tossed the apples with sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg and let them rest. Simple!
Time for crust #2. The apple pie recipe called for twice as much flour, the same amount of butter/baking powder, and one egg. I threw in a dash of salt because I thought it needed it. The difference here? Spooning one tablespoonful of ice water in at a time, slowly, until the dough came together. I liked this better than the first crust...I didn't have to rely on my one egg for all my moisture, I could tailor it to what I needed. And I ended up with a larger quantity of crust in the end. Enough so I could cookie-cutter a duck for my final project...
Bored with waiting for the dough to freeze, I poked around in cabinets until I found...Ghirardelli Cocoa Powder. I wonder what this would taste like in pumpkin pie...so, I retrieved my pumpkin filling and whisked in a couple tablespoons. No visible color change, but what about the taste?
Once the dough balls had re-frozen, my pies came together like the last 5 pieces of a massive puzzle. Pre-baking the pumpkin pie crust using dried beans to keep its shape, I poured in my filling. For the apple, I rolled out half the dough, poured in the apples, and rolled out the other half on top. Cutting vents and trimming excess dough. With a little extra, I cut out a duck and plopped it on top of my pumpkin pie.
An hour and a little bit later, this is what we got:

Coconut Chocolate Pumpkin Pie

Homemade Apple Pie
Well, how did I do? Well, in competition with three other pies (all store-bought) of pecan, mincemeat and plain pumpkin, there was one slice of my apple left and two slices of my pumpkin at the end of the night. Not bad for my first foray into pie-making.
Things to remember:
- Chocolate makes pumpkin filling taste burnt, even if it's not.
- A half tablespoon of nutmeg is far too much, no matter what the recipe says.
- Fuji apples are much sweeter than Granny Smith. Add lemon juice or other appropriate acid.
- No one understands ducks. Avoid.
Other than that, I think this was a fantastic learning experience. All I gotta say is, watch out for Baker Wong at Christmas!